Ms West Coast Olympus Leather 2014

 

When I was asked to run for Ms West Coast Olympus, I have to admit I knew almost nothing about the organization. So I did some research.

“For 20 years the Olympus Leather Circuit has transcended sexuality, looking at the Leather heart of a person. Olympus Leather's Mission since day one has been to embrace the leather person, regardless of race, sexual preference, identification or orientation. The one thing each of these title’s representatives have in common is their love of Leather”

Well that was a mission that spoke to me, ever since I realized that there was a section of the kink community that strived to live their lives with a code of values, and who honored traditions and strived to keep a history I was entranced. Then when I saw the sexieness of all that leather on top of leather, from boots up I was all in.

But I wondered what I had to offer? I wondered how I could give something of value to this title?

 I felt I had two things going for me, one I know a lot of people and can talk a lot ! So I would be a good ambassador; we go to events in every state in my region except Alaska and I really want to go to Alaska.

And the other is that some time ago we had a rift in our community. It was devastating. The issues were the same things many communities struggle with.

Peoples homes/things were being disrespected, predation was happening, stealthing was happening (starting with a condom and finishing without one, and with out consent) and communication had completely broke down because the parties involved refused to be accountable.

It caused a huge fracture, and I realized that some folks don’t realize that there are actual tools to facilitate conflict resolution. I love mediation, I love the idea of win win and I see the journey to get there a powerful journey for both people for personal growth.

I spent a few weeks working on putting these tools into the easily digestible and very usable Conflict Resolution Guidelines. At the time it was for my own community but since that time has been adopted by many communities in usa and abroad.

The idea is two fold, one, when you first come through the doors you agree to using these guidelines before a conflict arises, this is a requirement as part of the orientation to being in our community.

And two, once a conflict arises you now have  awesome tools to resolve it. The actual guidelines can be found here: https://fetlife.com/groups/30505/group_posts/2480157

Active listening, Setting goals ie: what would be a win for you?, Talking stick, Mediation, and Apology skills. Folks may not think apology is a skill but it is, done right it heals wounds very quickly when done wrong it makes things worse.
Anyway this could be my contribution to the community on the whole, I would offer myself 24-7 to any couple or group that needed some help in finding a win win rather then what I see our community do all the time which is start their own thing when they don’t get their way.

So I threw my hat in the ring from Hawaii, and then was thrilled to hear that I was chosen to represent the West Coast Olympus Title, run by The Leather foundation.

The leather foundation is an amazing foundation started by one amazing super human man. His name is Russ Mortenson Boyd, and he is a powerhouse of love and action in our community. He decided 6 years ago after over a decade of working at the San Diego Eagle that he wanted to do something to help our people. In his 50s, a six time survivor of cancer, he did not need anything more on his very full plate.

But he had a vision, He started a 501c to be able to set up funds for all manner of important issues that face our community.

His vision wont fit on this paper but I will try to give you as much as I can, so that you can see what I am representing when I wear it  proudly on the back of my vest.

The leather foundations purpose is simple: to help those who need it in our community . The foundation is set up with many funds for different projects:

* Helping leather people stay in their homes, who might need rent.
* Helping younger LGBTQA victims of bullying.
* Making HIV Hep C education and condoms  available in 27 locations
* Scholarships for education in our lifestyle.
* Feeding the homeless.
* Helping folks get to events.
* HIV medicine Pipeline Helping folks in India and Egypt get HIV medicine that they cant get in their countries.
* A leather library and archive in San Diego.

Russ  is a behind the scenes, get shit done guy. He won’t toot his own horn but he knew that the more people that knew about the leather foundation the more people he could help, so he resurrected the West Coast Olypus Title to get his foundation more exposure.

What an amazing vision this man has and I am super proud to jump in and help however I can. I am proud they think I can be useful to their message.
When I was told I won I was in Hawaii, Which meant that I needed to find a time I would be on the mainland and SWLC was going to be it. My vision was 4 people, My slave Michael Angel and I, Russ and Vonn.

Then I started to realize that all my favorite people in the world were at SWLC people that have been a part of my path and shaped me in so many ways…..So I asked, special people to come and witness and they did. I was so lucky to have this little window where so many amazing people were all in one place.
Master George and Bren: have been with me on this path for over a decade, they tought me that you can keep the protocols alive, that the mean something, and that love was the core to it all.

Olga and blu, they inspire me not only as Power Master and Power Slave, but also as even t producers that provide a rich garden for a family to grow.

Team Fluffy, who are so authentic in their core, who are who they are, and wear their hearts for all to see, not afraid to dive deep, and bring the devine into everything thy do.
 
BoiBear, who truly is a bear, and teaches me the power of service, of being genle and getting shit done.

Cobi & Sarge and House of And/Or, who is a new family for me, but I feel this amazing kinship, and familyhood with, I love their playful spirit, I love their connectivity between them all they can do anything!

Miss Leslie who is My miss Leslie, I cant describe the bond I have with this woman but I can say she is on my path to teach me about laughter and joy and causing trouble.

Robert Who was slave to Master Steve (Kozen now) He was my link to Butchmanns, who I shared a very special kinship with.

Master Wolf Alpha  Who is one of my special people, who has been part of this with me for a long time.

Phoneix and Beth, dear loves of mine from PNW.

Denise Sowers Desoto Madison Desoto who I just love being around, such amazing energy, they are an inspiration.

Tina Sexy awesome Slave Tina McNurlen another behind the scenes, get shit done, person who some how seems to be a part of the most sacred moments of my life.

And my new friends and family: Lil Bad Daddy, JJ , Dubie, Wish, Luke and Brandy…

It was amazing to have such a great group of people there. So many people who I am truly honored to call my family.

And it was only fitting that group hug turned into to a group grope, which turned into all sorts sexiness on the lawn…

I love my leather family.

 

This has been a very strange year to digest, I lost my corporate job for being kinky, I gained 20 lbs in depression, I launched Pocket Dungeon with not enough money to do it right, I had to give up my event Leather & Leis because even though it is the most amazing powerful, intimate, event in the world, enough people did not support it out here in Hawaii, and  2 of my dearest leather family betrayed me deeply. I began questioning if it was worth it. Questioning if everything I do for the community is really worth the toll it was taking in the other parts of my life.

But it is amazing how the universe answers back sometimes. It was almost like the universe heard my despair and said no, Ming, your contribution is important, here is a little recognition, you are loved and respected by the only people you have ever wanted to earn respect from, the Leather community, the M/s community, and the Queer community.

I was chosen as Ms West Coast Olympus Leather, Which means I get to be part of the amazing Leather Foundation and all its great works, More on that in part II. And  I was asked to judge the Master Slave contest.

So weird to try to try to digest, but I will try. I drove to the event with Russ who I affectionately call my Title Daddy, because he has taken over the West coast Olympus Title. So let me back up, how I have always felt about titles is that they have to mean something, getting the title is not enough, I want to see what they mean to the people that get them, and what they do in their title year.
I never thought I would get a title Ill be honest, I live 3000 miles away from the mainland, and my community is 15 people that are mostly swingers, not a leather, or M/s person in the bunch!

So that right there is my challenge, I tell the story that long ago I decided if I build it they will come, and they have, I teach a class every 2-4 weeks at my house and we play! I Love my community, it is Hawaiian style, flip-flops and rice dish potluck dinners and my dungeon is a cute little bungalow in the jungle.

But over the last decade I have been privileged to go to conferences all over the USA I have a few families that I have built from going to places and making connections, Desire Leather Women, Paradise Unbound in the Pacific North west, House of AndOr, Southwest leather conference, Team Fluffy & Dark Odyssey.

In each place there is a tribe of amazing people, who I have grown to love and who love me back.

This to me is what leather is all about, I often say and if you are reading this and don’t know me, this holds true for you too, you always have a place to stay here in Hawaii, because I really have never met kink/leather family who are not amazing people every where I have traveled.

I also have often asked myself what else is leather?  I love that there is a code to be leather, I love that there are values that we live, honor, integrity, honesty, acceptance, and love, I love that most of the people who are drawn to this bdsm thing as a way of life tend to really connect with the idea of living life with a code.

 I also think radical sex is another core aspect of being leather, having radical sex is life changing, gagging on a huge rubber or bio cock in the middle of a room of people watching as you choke and gag while your ass is being fucked and you are being beat by several people, changes you, it strips you more naked then you have ever been in your life, and you are some how so wonderfully free.

 You begin to see that you are the only one that can make the the decision about what shame and pride mean to you in your life.

And then there is the world of queer…..to me the word queer is one of my favorite words and with out which I would be hard pressed to have the full definition of the amazing and many people and paths that I embrace in my own leather walk. Queer is my happy place, the place that finally feels like home, it feels like I am a star shaped peg in a star shaped hole, a place where the only thing that matters is not who you fuck, or how you fuck and what bits you you fuck with... but that you fuck and you are free.

I was absolutely amazed and proud as I walked around SWLC at how many people I had fucked, and been free with, over the years.

I realized i honesty deeply enjoyed each and  every opportunity I have had to go splunking in to the deepest and sometimes darkest places in the psyche, the place where we are all raw, and vulnerable, and we let each other free fall sometimes with. and sometimes with out a net.

Thank you everyone who has gone splunking with me.

M/s or  Master Slave is a calling for me. I decided long ago I was not going to spend the rest of my life in a relationship fighting for power. Although I knew this, the idea that a slave as amazing as Michael Angel would come in to my life, esp on an island of 15 kinky people is mind blowing. But he has, and I am very blessed to have someone who wakes up each day with the only goal in his life to fill my happiness balloon.

We are not high protocol, but we have our daily rituals, we have course corrections, and punishments, we have positions, and a contract, and all these tools of our dynamic I hold sacred.

I have no desire to proselytize or to convert others to this path, but for those that are called to it, i feel it would be great if there were shining examples of Mastery out there, for them to model, just as my shining examples of Master Steve Sampson and Master Skip Chasey helped guide and shape my mastery to be what it is. I knew that when I was asked to judge I would be taking that very seriously.

The contestants did not disappoint!!! Each one was resplendent in their dynamic!! Each dynamic different  then my dynamic and I loved that about them. They all had so much love, respect and connection for this way of life and I respected each couple immensely.

It was so hard to judge, and honestly it was such a tight race that the winner won by 6 10th s of one point!!! How wonderful to have such greatness and be able to witness it. It was so beautiful for me especially because I don’t say this often but I am LONELY out on my island, and being able to ask deep probing questions to glimpse in to their dynamics, and hear them share their hearts was such a charge for my batteries.

Being a judge offered me the opportunity to have a voice in the shaping of the next generation of Masters and slaves, and that made me feel so joyous. The couple that was chosen are amazing and we are already in planning for them to do a M/s, D/s weekend right after leather HEAT. So if you want to come for that email me!

I have more to say, but that is enough for now, I will talk about my patch ceremony, The Leather Foundation, Olgas speech, and becoming a Gang Bang Girl in part 2, but please feel free to leave some comments, it is how i stay connected to my family out here so far away and I would love to hear what you have to say.

In Leather with Leis,
Ming Destiny
Ms West Coast Olympus Leather

Ming-West-Coast-Olympus-2014I started my official journey into leather 26 years ago, in 1988, I was living in London and some friends of mine started a club called Torture Garden.When I moved back to the United States I found that I was looking for more from an S&M club and that is where I found Butchmanns Academy and was introduced to a more structured way of living my Kink lifestyle.

When I moved to Hawaii I missed leather community... The island was so small and back then there was no fetlife, and no local community, but as luck would have it I became partners with the amazing Lee Harrington and was able to travel several times a year to attend my favorite kink and leather events I took what I learned there and brought it home to Maui. The community in Maui has grown by leaps and bounds. We created an amazing international event called Leather & Leis, we also host community events, and spiritual rituals with some of the finest, funnest kinkiest people I have ever met. These people are the gold of my soul, I am very glad to be able to call them my family.

One of the things I would like to help influence in our community is all the infighting. I researched and wrote the Conflict Resolution Guidelines for my own community and it has been adapted many times, by many communities, what I would like to do as a holder of this title is to offer my services as a peace facilitator and mediator to any communities with conflict.

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